VIOLENT VIDEO GAMES>> breeding violence

This morning I read a news article that was disturbing on so many levels. Part of me wishes that I would have never paid attention to it because it has upset my spirit so much. The other part of me can’t help but feel an absolute urgency to write about it, and express my thoughts and feelings.

The article can be found here if you are interested in reading it; http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865676113/Police-testimony-Teens-conspired-to-get-rid-of-14-year-old-girl-who-was-messaging-them.html  

The story is about two 16 year old boys that shot a 14 year old girl intending to kill her, because they were tired of her messaging them on social media. They discussed their plan as they were playing video games, and then followed through with it.

The first thing I would like to address is video games. I know that I might make some enemies with my stance on this issue, but I feel very strongly about this. I also know that I don’t have all of the facts from research, but I couldn’t care less about research right now. This is a serious problem! I have never been a fan of violent video games, I feel so uncomfortable thinking that someone would play a game where the goal is to kill people. With modern technology, these games are so life like, and portray violence in an awful way. In my opinion; these games desensitize young people to the violence, making it easy for them to witness (and in some cases contemplate and or follow through with violent acts of their own.) I am NOT a fan of violent video games. I feel like there is no place for them in our homes, especially when I hear about grown men spending WAY too much time playing them. Wake up Dad, you need to be spending time with your children, helping your wife, developing good relationships, and this doesn’t happen on video games. SORRY!!

I really could go on and on about violent video games, and the aspects that I dislike about them; time waster, social skills inhibitor, and I also feel like they encourage disrespectful attitudes in young kids; but enough about that (for now).

Referring to one of my earlier blog posts; I think that it totally unnecessary that any of these teenagers had the immediate access to social media that they did. I am assuming they were using the “snap-chat” (that the article refers to) on their smart phones. WHY?! Parents; why are we putting these kind of distractions in the hands of our youth?! Don’t they already have enough to deal with, and we hand them a device with all the information in the world at their fingertips and expect them to be able to control themselves? Seriously? And we wonder why violence is going up, or why more and more teens are addicted to pornography, or why our children are struggling to focus in school. Do you know the average child witnesses pornography as early as age 8 or 9.  OK, again; I could continue on this subject, but let’s move on.

Next I need to talk about kindness. Where has it gone? Several years ago, I coached a little girls volleyball team, 10 and 11 year olds. I was SHOCKED with the amount of bullying. I can’t even imagine treating someone with this amount of unkindness, let alone to their face. When, where, why has this become acceptable for young people to behave like this? Are we not teaching our little ones what it means to be kind?  It just blows my mind that these teenage boys are tired of this girl bothering them, so they think the best thing to do would be to kill her!? We have let Satan into our society TOO much!

I have so much sadness in my heart for all three families of these teenagers. What an absolute tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with them; and with all of us as we do our best to raise a righteous generation.

Would you give your child pornography?

Would you give your child pornography?!

That is precisely what you are doing when you get your child/teenager a smart phone. Whether or not your child is seeking the pornography; it is there, and it shows up all of the time. Pornography is in advertisements, in things people send them, in stupid videos that they can access even by accident. Don't even pretend like you haven't seen it yourself!

I don’t understand all of these parents saying, “How will I get a hold of my child if they don’t have a phone?” Well; here is my question, How did your parents get a hold of you? They called the school, and then you got a note in class saying, “come to the front office and call your parents,” SIMPLE! Also you can’t tell me that a majority of your child’s friends don’t have phones...they can borrow a phone to call you; or text you.

Let’s be completely honest. Smart phones are a HUGE distraction, here you have endless information at your fingertips, which is often far more interesting than whatever is going on--especially if you are sitting in a lecture at school or supposed to be doing homework. Think about it; when you have down time; what is the first thing that you do; reach for your phone? I am of the opinion that smartphones don’t belong in school, and are a dangerous device that are causing an attitude of apathy amongst our youth today. I heard of a young woman recently that had cracked the screen on her phone, and her mom took it to get it fixed. In the 4 hours that it was at the shop, she missed over 300 text messages. These were school hours! And you wonder why she is failing math?! Well I can tell you one thing--it is NOT the teacher’s fault. In order to read and respond to OVER 300 text messages she would have to be constantly looking at her phone.

I can go on and on about this topic, and the reasons that I think children shouldn’t have smart phones, including the horrible manners, lack of respect, and terrible social skills that young people have today. The lack of creativity and imagination saddens me. I won’t even begin to go into the dangers of social media and young children; but I will ask the question again, would you give your child pornography!?

Breastfeeding--Making Public what should be Private

There have been so many articles, videos, and comments flying around social media, that I thought I needed to put in my two cents. It isn’t appropriate for anyone-nursing mother or not to be showing their breasts in public. What kind of rights are we seeking?  Remember when you were little and your Mom told you that “those are your privates.” Are there not “privates” anymore?! You want people to be comfortable with you whipping it out to nurse? Recently a nursing mother fed her baby openly right in front of me, and it made me (a mother) uncomfortable. I can’t imagine my poor husband or other such gentleman.  We need to stop being so self centered thinking that everyone should be comfortable with what we are doing; start thinking about others, the sweet little boys and the men that are around us. Heaven forbid someone might be struggling with an addiction to pornography, and you have to open up and nurse right in front of them. Nursing is a wonderful moment shared by a child and their Mother. Why do we want to share it with the whole world!?

There is a video circulating that has a women scantily dressed and a woman who is nursing. People respond differently in the video, but I am responding the same, BOTH are absolutely INAPPROPRIATE. In a previous blog I talked about modesty; our society is dressing more and more immodest--I certainly don’t want breastfeeding to go in that direction. I do not sympathize with either one of these women. It is my opinion that a nursing mother should be considerate of others and go to a quiet, private place to feed her baby. If you have to feed your baby in public, cover yourself up so that others aren’t staring at what they shouldn’t be. You know they make really cute and fashionable nursing covers. How hard is that? My second opinion is that this beautiful model got exactly what she was asking for; sexual attention from men.  In general I think that we need to be more conscious of how we are presenting ourselves, and our bodies. "Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you? If any man defiles the temple of God, him will God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are." 1Corithians 3:16-17

One argument that I have heard is that breastfeeding is a "natural" thing. Well so is urinating, and a man could be arrested for indecency if he peed in public. They are called "privates" for a reason.

Take a Lesson from the Past

I am beyond frustrated with the direction that our society is going. Lately I have been watching some old shows and movies. I can’t help but wish that we could go back in time. Back to when people dressed and spoke modestly. When children and teenagers were respectful, and disciplining your children wasn’t looked down upon. Back to the days when immorality was just that and there was NO place for it. Back when humor, music, movies, and radio were uplifting, educational, and inspirational.  I wish that we could return to the days of faith and prayer, when communities relied on each other and service and friendship were commonplace. 

I echo the words of President Gordon B. Hinckley, “Of course there are problems, many and serious. We sorrow over the plague of drugs with its bitter harvest. We deplore the terrible scourge of pornography. We grieve over the wicked flood of immorality and abortion. We are concerned with the epidemic of infidelity, of divorce and broken homes. We are disturbed over the plight of the homeless and over stark hunger in many parts of the earth.”

He said those words in 1989 before I was even 2 years old. Now that I have a little girl that is that same age, I can only pray that she will be protected from all of these troubles. These evils that our world is calling “human rights.” My heart aches for the poor and needy and for the victims of awful crimes. I am disturbed by the increase in domestic violence, shootings and hatred. 

I don’t know what the solution is, but I would suggest taking a lesson from our Grandparents and Great Grandparents. They worked their fingers to the bone, came home and thanked God for the food on their table. They honored their parents and served their neighbor. Their word was their bond! They kept the Sabbath Holy, and rested from labors. They recognized the importance of education, and earning a living. They had children and raised them to have faith, and to be respectful. Their speech was clean and dress was modest. They lived within their means and weren’t wasteful. Most of all they lived good, honest lives that they could be proud of. 

What will be said of our generation?

I LOVE being a Stay at Home Mother

In this ever increasingly scary world, I can tell you that there is no other place that I would rather be than at home with my children. I want to know what they doing, viewing, hearing, and seeing. I feel a huge responsibility to protect and maintain the virtue in my home, in a world that doesn’t even know what virtue is anymore. Every modern show and song has to not only include, but glorify; violence, immorality, homosexuality, disrespect, and drug use. As a Mother it is my duty to nurture and to provide love and care 24 hrs a day 7 days a week.

I grew up in a large family, and I had the wonderful advantage of having my Mother at home. Every day when we’d get home from school, she was always there to talk to us, to help us, to feed us, and discipline us if necessary. We could always count on her to be there. This was important to me as a youth, and even more so now as a Mother.

I am pretty sure that my little family is currently in the lowest income bracket. My husband is just finishing his undergrad and will be attending Medical School this fall. He has a part time job and works hard to provide what we need. We have to be smart with our money. We have to live within our means. Based on our own situation, I know that most couples can make it happen (Mom staying at home).

Some people will say that they don’t have the finances to let Mom stay home. Well here are a few questions that I have. How much are you spending on gas as you travel back and forth to work?  How much do you pay for Day Care? On your work clothes? You may have to look at your spending and cut back in some areas. Some may not have the finances, and for them I hope and pray that things can work out so that they can stay home to nurture their children. Others are single Mothers, my Uncle recently passed away and his wife works so hard to take good care of her family. I know that Heavenly Father will bless her so much for all of her efforts and for her wonderful service as a Mother.

Looking back on my own childhood I am more than grateful that my Mother was there. I know that it had a huge influence on me and my siblings. I realize that she showed me the kind of Mother that I want to be. I LOVE being home with my little girl. She is the absolute JOY of my life. There is no job in the world that could bring me more happiness than seeing her learn and grow!

A Dose of Manhood!

This is a frustration that I have had for a while-- As soon as skinny jeans became popular…for boys!? Oh dear oh dear. The other day I was watching the news and it was showing President Obama sorting toys for “sub for Santa” and he started mixing up the gender specific toys, saying that there shouldn’t be such a “divide.” I also read an article about a school in Pennsylvania that no longer allows the teachers to refer to the children as boys and girls. 

What are we teaching children America? BOYS ARE BOYS!! And GIRLS are GIRLS!! That’s what they are and that is what we should call them. We are causing a lot more problems by letting them get confused about “who they are.” This isn’t healthy and causes more issues down the road.  Which leads to my topic of men dressing and acting more and more feminine. 

I guess that being raised with a bunch of brothers puts me a little behind on the fashion line, but I know girly when I see it. And I see it EVERYWHERE> jackets with floral prints, skinny jeans, low cut t-shirts,  and fancy dancy accessories. I’m with Phil Robertson (Duck Dynasty) when he said, “What America needs is a good dose of MANHOOD.” 

Boys; girls are looking for a MAN, someone who can protect them, and be that solid foundation in a relationship. We don’t need a girlfriend—we have plenty of those. What can we do to reverse this issue? MAN UP!! Stop dressing, talking, and acting so feminine. My opinion is the exact opposite of President Obama, there should be a divide. Men and women have different roles to play in this world especially in the family. 

I am truly grateful for the man that I found to be my Husband and the Father of my children. He is so hardworking and wonderful. I hope that we can do our part as parents to teach our children that gender is eternal, and that God has great expectations for each of us to fulfill our roles as Men and Women.

My RIGHT to WRITE

I have been thinking for the past two weeks about what I want to write, and oh do I have ideas! I start a post, and then begin thinking about how others will perceive it and the negative judgments that will pour in if I ever publish it.  I stop writing and put my computer away, and go on with my ever so safe and happy life. Then something will happen either to members of my own family, to friends, or even to strangers on the news and it gets my heart pumping. And again my fingers start typing, and then like clockwork the doubts and fears settle in.  I know that I need to be brave, strong and true; like my Mother always says. I will speak up, because it is my right. I will say what I am thinking because that is my duty, and I believe it needs to be said. It may not always be “politically correct,” but that’s a whole other issue…for another blog post. :)

Today my thoughts are jumping from topic to topic, but I think that I will settle on the issue of the attitude of entitlement. Yesterday I turned on the TV while I was folding laundry. Dr Phil was on and it peaked my interest. The story was about a 15 year old girl that had completely inappropriate behavior. She drank alcohol, did drugs, and was beyond disrespectful to her parents. One of her defenses was that she was just like every other teenager. I’m afraid that her comment is more true than false. What is happening with the youth of our nation?

For three years I worked as a Recreation specialist at a treatment center for “at risk” youth. While working with these kids, I realized some patterns and trends:

1.       A large number of them did not get to spend a lot of time with Mom and Dad. They usually came from very wealthy families, and were raised by a nanny, or went to boarding school.

2.       Most had some sort of addiction; drugs, alcohol, pornography, or video games.

3.       Almost all of them had fallen behind in school.

4.       A significant number of them had little to no social skills. And no respect for authority. 

These things might sound familiar to someone that has worked with teenagers. I don’t know what the solution is to this growing problem, but I have a few ideas of things that might help. Something that my Grandpa Juan used to tell people when they asked how he raised such great kids, he would say, “It’s quantity time, not quality time.” The more time you spend together, the more chances you have for quality time. Instead of going into a situation thinking… we need to make this “quality time.”

 

1.       Limit the technology. Good grief, our parents didn’t have cell phones when they were young, and life was good. In my opinion, teenagers don’t need them! I always hear the argument, well what if they need to get a hold of me? Or when they start driving I want them to have a phone. Well, every other person in this country has a cell phone…they WILL be able to get a hold of you.

Technology can be a HUGE distraction. Even for parents. We are off in our own little world, not caring about those around us. Look around, so many people are on their phones, and not talking to each other. This plays into the lack of social skills of the upcoming generation.

WHAT are they (cell phones) doing at church?! When I look down the row and see people playing games, texting, or “using their scriptures.” Whoa, then I’m distracted.

There is a time and a place for good technology. This lap top that I am using right now allows me to get this post out to you, it allows me to index and do family history. It can be very positive, but used too much can be dangerous.

I won’t even begin on what I think about video games--BLAH!!!

2.       Work hard together and Play hard together. Teach young people the importance of work, by giving them chores and assignments to help with the house hold duties.

“Families that play together stay together, especially when their play is uplifting and wholesome. Family vacations, holidays, birthday celebrations, and other activities build strong bonds and feelings of self-worth. The phrase “Remember when we…” is sure to bring love and laughter in the years to come.” (https://www.lds.org/family/activities?lang=eng)

3.       Eat meals together. Have good conversation, and don’t invite the cell phones. 

I could go on and on with ideas, and I am sure that you have some…please share! But I will stop here, for now.   Lots of thoughts, but I will save some for later.